ror.org/04td37d32
Abstracts
Résumé
La non-monogamie consensuelle (NMC) est un concept qui englobe toutes les formes de relations intimes dans lesquelles les partenaires se permettent, en toute transparence, de vivre des expériences sexuelles et/ou amoureuses au-delà du traditionnel couple dyadique. À ce jour, peu de recherches ont été consacrées à la famille dans ce contexte conjugal non traditionnel. À partir de 34 entrevues semi-dirigées menées auprès de parents canadiens polyamoureux ou en couple ouvert, nous explorerons dans cet article la façon dont ces derniers conjuguent pluriconjugalité et famille. Plus précisément, nous examinerons les raisons qui sous-tendent le choix des parents d’informer ou non leurs enfants de leur mode relationnel et d’intégrer leurs partenaires intimes dans leur vie familiale. Les entrevues mettent en lumière quatre grands thèmes influençant le dévoilement aux enfants : 1) les enjeux d’acceptation sociale/légale de la diversité conjugale/familiale ; 2) la perception quant à la capacité des enfants à comprendre les enjeux de sexualité/conjugalité ; 3) la certitude ou l’incertitude du parent face à ses choix conjugaux ; et 4) les limites ou avantages perçus de la famille nucléaire.
Mots clés:
- Polyamour,
- pluriparentalité,
- diversité sexuelle,
- coming out,
- enfants
Abstract
Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is a concept that encompasses all forms of intimate relationships in which partners allow themselves, in full transparency, to engage in sexual and/or romantic relationships beyond the traditional dyadic couple. To date, little research has been devoted to the family in this non-traditional context. Based on 34 semi-structured interviews with Canadian parents in polyamorous or open relationships, we explore in this article how they combine CNM and family. Specifically, we examine the reasons behind parents’ choice to inform (or not) their children of their relationship type and to integrate their intimate partners into their family life. Interviews highlight four key themes influencing parents’ coming out to their children : 1) social/legal recognition of relationship/family diversity ; 2) children’s (in)ability to understand issues related to sexuality and intimate relationships ; 3) parent’s (un)certainty about their intimate relationship choices ; and 4) perceived limits or benefits of the nuclear family.
Keywords:
- Polyamory,
- multi-parents’ family,
- sexual diversity,
- coming out,
- children
Appendices
Références
- Aguilar, J. (2013). « Situational sexual behaviors : The ideological work of moving toward polyamory in communal living groups », Journal of Contemporary Ethnography, vol. 2, no 1, p. 104-129.
- Altemeyer, B. (2002). « Changes in attitudes toward homosexuals », Journal of Homosexuality, vol. 42, no 2, p. 63-75.
- Anderson, E. (2010). « “At least with cheating there is an attempt at monogamy” : Cheating and monogamism among undergraduate heterosexual men », Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, vol. 27, no 7, p. 851-872.
- Anderson, E. (2012). The Monogamy Gap : Men, Love, and the Reality of Cheating, Oxford et New York : Oxford University Press.
- Arseneau, E., Landry, S. et Darling, E. K. (2019). « The Polyamorous Childbearing and Birth Experiences Study (POLYBABES) : A qualitative study of the health care experiences of polyamorous families during pregnancy and birth », Canadian Medical Association Journal/Journal de l’Association medicale canadienne, vol. 191, no 41, E1120-E1127.
- Balzarini, R. N., Dharma, C., Kohut, T., Holmes, B. M., Campbell, L., Lehmiller, J. J. et Harman, J. J. (2018). « Demographic comparison of American individuals in polyamorous and monogamous relationships », Journal of Sex Research, vol. 56, no 6, p. 681-694.
- Barnett, J. P. (2014). « Polyamory and criminalization of plural conjugal unions in Canada : Competing narratives in the s.293 Reference », Sexuality Research and Social Policy, vol. 11, no 1, p. 63-75.
- Battams, N. (2018). A Snapshot of Family Diversity in Canada. Statistical Snapshots, Ottawa, The Vanier Institute of the Family. https://vanierinstitute.sharepoint.com/sites/PublicWebResources/Documents/Public%20Files/SNP_ 2018-02-06_Family-Diversity-February-2018-1.pdf
- Bettinger, M. (2005). « A family systems approach to working with sexually open gay male couples », Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, vol. 4, no 2/3, p. 149-160.
- Boyd, J.-P. (2016). Polyamorous Families in Canada : Early Results of New Research from CRILF, Calgary : Canadian Research Institute for Law and the Family. https://ablawg.ca/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Blog_JPB_Polyamory_Aug2016.pdf
- Braun, V. et Clarke, V. (2006). « Using thematic analysis in psychology », Qualitative Research in Psychology, vol. 3, no 2, p. 77-101.
- Bricker, M. E. et Horne, S. G. (2007). « Gay men in long-term relationships : The impact of monogamy and non-monogamy on relational health », Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, vol. 6, no 4, p. 27-47.
- Combessie, p. (2009). « Le partage de l’intimité sexuelle. Pistes pour une analyse du pluripartenariat au féminin », L’Harmattan, 261-290.
- Clardy, J. L. (2018). « “I don’t want to be a playa no more” : An exploration of the denigrating effects of “player” as a stereotype against African American polyamorous men », Analize : Journal of Gender and Feminist Studies, vol. 11, no 25, p. 38-60.
- Collard, C. (2011). « Pluriparentalité et pluriparenté : regard anthropologique sur le droit de l’adoption et de la procréation assistée au Québec », Enfances, Familles, Générations, no 14, p. 9-25.
- Conley, T. D., Piemonte, J. L., Gusakova, S. et Rubin, J. D. (2018). « Sexual satisfaction among individuals in monogamous and consensually non-monogamous relationships », Journal of Social & Personal Relationships, vol. 35, no 4, p. 509-531.
- Conley, T. D., Ziegler, A., Moors, A. C., Matsick, J. L. et Valentine, B. (2013). « A critical examination of popular assumptions about the benefits and outcomes of monogamous relationships », Personality and Social Psychology Review, vol. 17, no 2, p. 124-141.
- Côté, I. et Lavoie, K. (2018). « La reconnaissance de l’homoparenté au Québec. Lorsque les stratégies de mobilisation de la communauté rencontrent l’avant-gardisme de l’État », Revue des politiques sociales et familiales, vol. 126, no 1, p. 21-33.
- Daniels, R. S. (2019). « The evolution of attitudes on same-sex marriage in the United States, 1988-2014 », Social Science Quarterly, vol. 100, no 5, p. 1651-1663.
- Easton, D. et Hardy, J. W. (2009). The Ethical Slut : A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures, Berkeley, CA : Celestial Arts.
- Eaton, A. A., et Rose, S. (2011). « Has Dating Become More Egalitarian ? A 35 Year Review Using Sex Roles », Sex Roles, vol. 64, p. 843-862.
- Fairbrother, N., Hart, T. A., et Fairbrother, M. (2019). « Open relationship prevalence, characteristics, and correlates in a nationally representative sample of Canadian adults », The Journal of Sex Research, vol. 56, no 6, p. 695-704.
- Ferrer, J. N. (2018). « Mononormativity, polypride, and the “mono-poly wars” », Sexuality & Culture, vol. 22, no 3, p. 817-836.
- Fleckenstein, J. R. et Cox, D. W., II. (2015). « The association of an open relationship orientation with health and happiness in a sample of older US adults », Sexual and Relationship Therapy, vol. 30, no 1, p. 94-116.
- Hadfield, K. et Nixon, E. (2017). « Benefits of and barriers to romantic relationships among mothers in Ireland », Family Relations, vol. 66, no 3, p. 383-398.
- Haupert, M. L., Gesselman, A. N., Moors, A. C., Fisher, H. E. et Garcia, J. R. (2017). « Prevalence of experiences with consensual nonmonogamous relationships : Findings from two national samples of single Americans », Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, vol. 43, no 5, p. 424-440.
- Heaphy, B., Donovan, C. et Weeks, J. (2004). « A different affair ? Openness and nonmonogamy in same sex relationships », dans J. Duncombe, K. Harrison, G. Allan et D. Marsden, The State of Affairs : Explorations in Infidelity and Commitment, Mahwah, NJ : Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., p. 167-186.
- Hooper, T. (2014). « “More than two is a crowd” : Mononormativity and gross indecency in the Criminal Code, 1981-82 », Journal of Canadian Studies, vol. 48, no 1, p. 53-81.
- Hosking, W. (2013). « Agreements about extra-dyadic sex in gay men’s relationships : Exploring differences in relationship quality by agreement type and rule-breaking behavior », Journal of Homosexuality, vol. 60, no 5, p. 711-733.
- Jackson, S. M. et Cram, F. (2003). « Disrupting the sexual double standard : Young women’s talk about heterosexuality », The British Journal of Social Psychology, vol. 42, no 1, p. 113-127.
- Jackson, S. et Scott, S. (2004). « The personal is still political : Heterosexuality, feminism and monogamy », Feminism & Psychology, vol. 14, no 1, p. 151-157.
- Jonason, p. et Marks, M. (2009). « Common vs. uncommon sexual acts : Evidence for the sexual double standard », Sex Roles, vol. 60, no 5-6, p. 357-365.
- Jordan, L. S. (2018). « “My mind kept creeping back… this relationship can’t last” : Developing self-awareness of monogamous bias », Journal of Feminist Family Therapy, vol. 30, no 2, p. 109-127.
- Kelly, F. (2009). « (Re)forming parenthood : The assignment of legal parentage within planned lesbian families », Ottawa Law Review, vol. 40, p. 185-222.
- Klesse, C. (2006). « Polyamory and its “others” : Contesting the terms of non-monogamy », Sexualities, vol. 9, no 5, p. 565-583.
- Kurth, S. B., Spiller, B. B., et Travis, C. B. (2000). « Consent, Power, and Sexual Scripts : Deconstructing Sexual Harassment », dans C. B. Travis et J. W. White, Sexuality, Society, and Feminism, Washington, DC : American Psychological Association, p. 323-354.
- Lai, Y. et Hynie, M. (2011). « A tale of two standards : An examination of young adults’ endorsement of gendered and ageist sexual double standards », Sex Roles, vol. 64, no 5-6, p. 360-371.
- Matsick, J. L., Conley, T. D., Ziegler, A., Moors, A. C. et Rubin, J. D. (2014). Love and sex : Polyamorous relationships are perceived more favourably than swinging and open relationships, Psychology & Sexuality, vol. 5, no 4, p. 339-348.
- Meyer, I. H. (2003). « Prejudice, social stress, and mental health in lesbian, gay, and bisexual populations : conceptual issues and research evidence », Psychological bulletin, vol. 129, no 5, p. 674-697.
- Mikolajczak, M., Raes, M. E., Avalosse, H. et Roskam, I. (2018). « Exhausted parents : Sociodemographic, child-related, parent-related, parenting and family-functioning correlates of parental burnout », Journal of Child and Family Studies, vol. 27, no 2, p. 602-614.
- Mitchell, M. E., Bartholomew, K. et Cobb, R. J. (2014). Need fulfillment in Polyamorous relationships. Journal of Sex Research, vol. 51, no 3, p. 329-339.
- Moors, A. C. (2017). « Has the American public’s interest in information related to relationships beyond “the couple” increased over time ? », Journal of Sex Research, vol. 54, no 6, p. 677-684.
- Moss, A. R. (2012). Alternative families, alternative lives : Married women doing bisexuality, Journal of GLBT Family Studies, vol. 8, no 5, p. 405-427. doi :10.1080/1550428X.2012.729946
- Munson, M. et Steboum, J. P. (1999). « Introduction : The Lesbian Polyamory Reader : Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Casual Sex », Journal of Lesbian Studies, vol. 3, no 1-2, p. 1-7.
- Noël, M. J. (2006). « Progressive polyamory : Considering issues of diversity », Sexualities, vol. 9, no 5, p. 602-620.
- Pallotta-Chiarolli, M. (2010). « “To pass, border or pollute” : Polyfamilies go to school », dans M. Barker et D. Langdridge (dir.), Understanding Non-Monogamies, New York, NY : Routledge, p. 182-187.
- Parsons, J. T., Starks, T. J., Gamarel, K. E. et Grov, C. (2012). « Non-monogamy and sexual relationship quality among same-sex male couples », Journal of Family Psychology, vol. 26, no 5, p. 669-677.
- Pylyser, C., De Mol, J., Loeys, T. et Buysse, A. (2019). « Father reflections on doing family in stepfamilies », Family Relations, vol. 68, no 4, p. 500-511.
- Ramsey, L. R., et Hoyt, T. (2015). « The Object of Desire : How Being Objectified Creates Sexual Pressure for Women in Heterosexual Relationships », Psychology of Women Quarterly, vol. 39, no 2, p. 151-170.
- Ritchie, A. et Barker, M. (2006). « “There aren’t words for what we do or how we feel so we have to make them up” : Constructing polyamorous languages in a culture of compulsory monogamy », Sexualities, vol. 9, no 5, p. 584-601.
- Ritchie, A. et Barker, M. (2007). « Hot bi babes and feminist families : Polyamorous women speak out », Lesbian and Gay Psychology Review, vol. 8, no 2, p. 141-151.
- Robinson, V. (1997). « My baby just cares for me : Feminism, heterosexuality and non-monogamy », Journal of Gender Studies, vol. 6, no 2, p. 143-157.
- Rothschild, L. (2018). « Compulsory monogamy and polyamorous existence », Graduate Journal of Social Science, vol. 14, no 1, p. 28-56.
- Rubel, A. N. et Bogaert, A. F. (2015). « Consensual nonmonogamy : Psychological well-being and relationship quality correlates », The Journal of Sex Research, vol. 52, no 9, p. 961-982.
- Rubin, G. (1984). « Thinking sex : Notes for a radical theory of the politics of sexuality », dans C. S. Vance (dir.), Pleasure and Danger : Exploring Female Sexuality, New York, NY : Routledge et K. Paul, p. 143-178.
- Schechinger, H. A., Sakaluk, J. K. et Moors, A. C. (2018). « Harmful and helpful therapy practices with consensually non-monogamous clients : Toward an inclusive framework », Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, vol. 86, no 11, p. 879.-891.
- Schué, R. (2018, 15 mai). « Des juristes réclament l’adoption de la triparentalité au Québec », Radio-Canada. https://ici.radio-canada.ca/nouvelle/1101027/juristes-reclament-adoption-triparentalite-quebec
- Séguin, L. J., Blais, M., Goyer, M.-F., Rodrigue, C., Magontier, C., Adam, B. D. et Lavoie, F. (2017). « Examining relationship quality across three types of relationship agreements », Sexualities, vol. 20, no 1-2, p. 86-104. doi :10.1177/1363460716649337
- Sheff, E. (2005). « Polyamorous women, sexual subjectivity and power », Journal of Contemporary Ethnography, vol. 34, no 3, p. 251-283.
- Sheff, E. (2010). « Strategies in polyamorous parenting », dans M. Barker et D. Langdridge (dir.), Understanding Non-Monogamies, New York, NY : Routledge, p. 169-181.
- Sheff, E. (2014). The Polyamorists Next Door : Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families, Lanham, MD, Rowman et Littlefield.
- Sheff, E. et Hammers, C. (2011). « The privilege of perversities : Race, class and education among polyamorists and kinksters », Psychology & Sexuality, vol. 2, no 3, p. 198-223.
- Sizemore, K. M. et Olmstead, S. B. (2018). « Willingness of emerging adults to engage in consensual non-monogamy : A mixed-methods analysis », Archives of Sexual Behavior : The Official Publication of the International Academy of Sex Research, vol. 47, no 5, p. 1423-1438.
- Stone, N., Ingham, R. et Gibbins, K. (2013). « “Where do babies come from ?” Barriers to early sexuality communication between parents and young children », Sex Education, vol. 13, no 2, p. 228-240.
- Sweet, J. (2013, avril). « Equality, democracy, monogamy : Discourses of Canadian nation building in the 2010-2011 British Columbia Polygamy Reference », Canadian Journal of Law & Society/Revue canadienne de droit et société (University of Toronto Press), vol. 28, no 1, p. 1-19.
- Tahon, M.-B. (2010). « Pluralité dans l’établissement de la filiation au Québec », Recherches sociologiques et anthropologiques, vol. 41, no 41/42, p. 25-49.
- Taormino, T. (2008). Opening Up : A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships, San Francisco, CA : Cleis Press.
- Treas, J. et Giesen, D. (2000). « Sexual infidelity among married and cohabiting Americans », Journal of Marriage and Family, vol. 62, no 1, p. 48-60.
- Wauthier, P.-Y. (2020). De la déconjugalisation du fait familial : une ethnosociologie de parcours de vie familiale non monogames en Europe francophone entre 2014 et 2018. Thèse de doctorat, Université de Genève, 582 pages.
- Williams, D. J. et Prior, E. E. (2015). « Contemporary polyamory : A call for awareness and sensitivity in social work », Social Work, vol. 60, no 3, p. 268-270.
- Witherspoon, R. G. et Theodore, p. S. (2021). Exploring minority stress and resilience in a polyamorous sample, Archives of Sexual Behavior, vol. 50, p. 1367-1388.
- Zimmerman, K. J. (2012). « Clients in sexually open relationships : Considerations for therapists », Journal of Feminist Family Therapy, vol. 24, no 3, p. 272-289.
10.7202/1004007ar